The Miracle of Kindness

I’ve long believed that the root problem for all addicts is extreme lack of self-love. We are very mean to ourselves, and this self-loathing and self-hatred destroy our souls. When we can no longer bear the pain, we then turn to some addictive behavior as a means of temporarily rescuing ourselves from our own self-abuse.

The remedy for this situation is obviously a healthy dose of self-love, but that’s not easy to accomplish when we’ve spent years self-destructing through self-criticism. So a necessary first step is the daily practice of being kind to ourselves.

Self-kindness is the first step toward healing. And being kind to ourselves can be expressed many forms. We can start by speaking words of kindness to ourselves. We are long used to sharply criticizing everything we say, think or do. We criticize our bodies, our personalities, our abilities, our loveability and our self-worth. It’s time we replaced our very harsh criticisms of ourselves with compliments and other words of tolerance and kindness.

We are not called to be perfect. No one is. We are called to be loving, however, and being loving means we must start by loving ourselves. Words of kindness provide us with the necessary baby-steps we need to begin loving ourselves better.

Once we are better at giving ourselves a break by saying kind things to ourselves, for example when we make mistakes, then we will be ready for the next step, which is to practice acts of kindness toward ourselves. We can take the time to do things that are life-giving for us, such as meditation, getting a massage, enjoying a day trip with friends, or buying ourselves something we’ve always wanted but weren’t kind enough to acknowledge that we deserved to have it until now.

As we grow healthier and happier inside, we will begin to accept that we truly are blessed and deserving people. Our self-love will grow into a healthier love of others. And what we will discover is the true miracle of learning to be kind to ourselves, which is this: The kinder we are to ourselves, the kinder we are toward other people.

Being kind toward ourselves takes us to a place where we are more patient, compassionate, empathetic and understanding with ourselves. As a result, we will naturally discover that we are suddenly more loving, empathetic, compassionate and understanding with others as well. It’s the miracle of kindness. Kindness improves our relationship with ourselves and it improves our relationships with others.

If you are struggling with negative self-talk, begin the practice today of replacing your critical words with words of kindness. Allow the miracle of kindness to begin for you!