Butterflies Instinctually Know They Are Beautiful, and so can You!



In her book “Beyond Codependency,” Melody Beattie says “I was certain there was something fundamentally wrong with me...” This is a very strong statement and a very devastating feeling that many codependents/addicts share. 

The thrust behind the belief that there is something fundamentally or inherently wrong with us is the self-destructive belief that whatever is wrong is unchangeable. And because it’s unchangeable, we invest a great amount of effort into people-pleasing or overachieving to prove we do have some sort of worth despite the fact the we are fundamentally and irreversibly flawed.

As we grow from childhood to adulthood, if we don’t receive help, we continually reenforce the idea that we are never going to be as good as other people, and thus we will never be good enough in anyone’s eyes to deserve authentic love. I don’t think there’s any fear more devastating than “I’m fundamentally and irreversibly unlovable.

Like butterflies, we can’t see our own beauty. Our natural beauty is buried beneath all of the negative judgments we and others have made against us. And like butterflies, through our recovery programs we need to instinctually see our own natural beauty. I have no doubt that butterflies know instinctively that they are beautiful. They don’t need a mirror to prove the fact that they are truly beautiful. And once we stop beating ourselves up, start practicing self-acceptance andself-care, we too will be able to know how beautiful we truly are— no mirror necessary. Nor will we need anyone else’s approval.

By the grace of our Higher Power, and by our own determination to regain ownership of our own happiness, we will have all of the personal approval we need to instinctually know that we are truly worthwhile, beautiful people.

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