Soulshine

Codependents, and many other addicts, have a difficult time expressing their wants, their needs, their very selves. For years many of us have felt unworthy of asking for help. We told ourselves over and over “I’m not worth it. I’m not lovable enough, or good enough to ask for help.” EVERYONE is good enough and worthy of asking for help. We are all worthy of having our needs met, and sometimes meeting those needs requires outside help from our Higher Power and others. Many people tell me that they find it hard to express their needs and ask for help because they are afraid of receiving a “No,” or of being rejected. The problem here is that by not asking for help we are continuing to say “No” to us and to reject ourselves. When we don’t ask for help, the result is “No” 100 percent of the time. If we at least honor ourselves by asking, we have a 50 percent chance of receiving the help we need. Sometimes the inability to ask for help, because we feel unworthy, causes us to b...

Amen to the above quote. It’s spot-on truth. The more we work on evaluating, accepting, loving and improving ourselves, the happier we become. The more we appreciate that we are all unique gifts to the world around us, the more grateful we become. I used to be a constant victim/whiner. Now, I can’t tolerate even being around people who play the perpetual victim game. And I no longer enable it. If I find myself with a whiner, I immediately suggest that we talk about positive, life-affirming subjects. If they ignore that and continue to complain, then I get up and excuse myself. I will not enable their behavior by sitting and listening to them. I will not provide them with the pity party they so desperately want. To do so would be to help them to stay stuck in their negative, victim mentality. I refuse to be an enabler. Worst of all are those unhappy whiners who have all of their attention focused on the lives and faults of others. They are so alienated from themselves, that they...