Look to the "Light Inside of You" And Let Down the Steel Walls Around Your Heart

One of my favorite 1980’s bands was Living In A Box. They only released two albums, “Living In a Box” and “Gatecrashing.” Looking back, those two titles say a lot to me. Like the character of Tina in the above clip from the Bette Davis film “Now, Voyager,” I too often felt ugly, unwanted, disliked and ultimately unlovable as a child.

As a result I built walls around me to lock others out while protecting myself. I was living in a box, but it wasn’t a “cardboard box,” as is mentioned in the song “Living In a Box,” it was a steel box. Twelve year old Tina has already learned that her mother doesn’t love her or even want her around. She has also come to believe that she is an ugly duckling and she believes no one can be trusted, or is even safe to be around. So she’s spent her young life shutting everyone out, aside from her father.

Fortunately for Tina, she meets Charlotte (Bette Davis), who understands her story because she has lived basically the same life story. Like Tina, Charlotte spent her entire life “living in a box.” Finally, with the help of her sister-in-law, a good therapist and a new trusted friend, she was able to break down the walls of her codependent box, escape into safety in the real world, and then learned how to go “gatecrashing” into the joys of life.

In the scene above, Charlotte is providing the love Tina needs to do the same: escape her codependent box and gatecrash into the joy of living.

Recovery requires us to lower the steel walls we’ve placed around ourselves. Steel walls aren’t boundaries. They’re prison walls that are roadblocks to happiness. We are able to end our living in a box when we learn to believe we are “good enough” to help ourselves and to seek trustworthy help from outside ourselves. We begin by seeking  a loving Higher Power, professional help, support groups and trusted friends, like Charlotte.

The more we work our Recovery programs the more we will free ourselves from living in a box and the freer we will be to go gatecrashing into all of the contentment and joy life has to offer us.