The Codependent Crazies: Urgent, Urgent, Emergency!



I’ve been in the process of moving to Washington,DC, all week and I have also been in the Rock band Foreigner’s “Urgent, urgent, emergency” mode. It’s come to my attention that many of us who deal with codependency issues suffer from the need to do everything urgently. Most likely it’s caused by our obsessive need to control the world around us.

I thought the movers were coming Wednesday, but I received a call late Monday afternoon that they were coming Tuesday. Immediately I went into “urgent, urgent, emergency” mode. I suddenly had to get done everything I thought I was going to have Tuesday to do.

Tuesday comes and by afternoon, it’s obvious that the moving company’s sales rep underestimated how long it was going to take to pack up my office and house. The moving men only finished the office by the end of the day, which meant the house would have to be packed on Wednesday: Urgent, Urgent, emergency was rushing through my head.

Wednesday morning I received a call from a sales rep that one of the moving men had injured his back, that they’d need to send out someone new with the supervisor and they would arrive around 11:00 AM. They didn’t arrive until Noon. I fed them and then they only had the afternoon to pack up the house. It did get packed, but there was no time to load the truck because a storm was moving in to Tucson. So all of the boxes had to be moved back into my suite; leaving me with a pathway to the bed and to the bathroom. Again , urgent, urgent, emergency was controlling my feelings and causing anxiety.

The movers loaded the truck on Thursday, but then I got a text from my car transporter that he’d be arriving at 3:00 PM and the car would be delivered on Saturday, August 31– the day I’m flying to DC. Urgent, urgent, emergency! I had also been told it couldn’t be delivered to the house in DC proper, for security reasons, and would have to be delivered to Arlington, VA. Panic! Panic! I won’t even be there to receive the car! So I called the transporter company and after 30 minutes we finally got things worked out that the car would be delivered to a secured parking lot and I could pick it up anytime.

The entire week, I was in panic mode— as well as feeling sad that I’m leaving so many people behind. The sadness was necessary, but the panic wasn’t. At least I know now that I need to work on this. I only go into urgent panic mode out of habit. It’s a codependent habit I need to break. One thing at a time, do what I can and trust the rest to God is my new mantra.

At least now I’m fully aware of my Urgent, Urgent, Emergency mode of thinking. I don’t always catch the thought immediately yet, but I’m aware of the feelings of urgency and panic that engulf me, and they tell me my thinking is out of wack. So I can choose to calm down, do what I can and trust my Higher Power. 


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