How Well Are You Owning Your Personal Power Today?


 How well are you owning your personal power today? I woke up this morning and realized that I wasn't owning mine very well. And it was obvious to me why: I was caring about what other people think and trying to please them.

I could feel the anxiety in the pit of my stomach and my heart was racing. Why? Just because someone placed a disagreeable comment on a digital media page that I am responsible for operating. First, I had to admit to myself that the comment really wasn't that negative and that I was taking it personally. Instead of immediately saying to myself "Everyone has a right to their opinion, we don't have to agree and that's fine," I was taking it as an attack. And not just an attack on the post itself, but a personal attack on me-- when in fact, it wasn't.

Even after 25 years of Recovery, this is one of those areas I still struggle with from time to time. Owning my personal power is still so new to me, that I easily fall back into the habit of immediately making someone else's opinion or belief more important than my own. They become the King or Queen and I become the peasant. Or rather, they become my Father or Mother and I return to being the lowly, powerless child in an alcoholic household.

To my credit, at least I rebound much faster from this default habit of giving my personal power away than I used to do. Before Recovery, I never knew I had the right to ANY personal power. I had no concept of owning, loving and standing up for who I am or what I believe. Today, I do.

But that doesn't stop me from taking the occasional step backwards, like I did this morning. I am grateful to my Higher Power, however, that I was able to rebound from my fall from Recovery grace pretty quickly, although I still put myself through unnecessary drama and emotional pain. But I can now write about it.

When, as children, we were trained to live to please others, it's very hard to break that chain. But we can. As soon as I read the comment this morning, I immediately felt stressed, anxious and depressed as in "here we go again. I'm giving my emotional power away to another person." I was immediately aware of what was going on. It didn't stop my heart from racing for a few minutes, but with the help of my Higher Power, I calmed down. I took a deep breath and realized I had fallen into the hole of giving my personal power and worth away to another. And I gradually took it back and responded brilliantly to the person's comment on my page.

And when I can do that, I know it's because my Higher Power is working heart to heart and hand in hand to help me move forward in owning my own power and life. I am as worthy as anyone-- and so are you!

Hold on to your personal power. Your Higher Power will always return you to right thinking, which returns us to feeling equal and powerful in our own shoes.

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