Trade Toxic Love for Healthy Love

I especially like the part of this quote that says “when you see a period at the end of the sentence (relationship), don’t try and turn it into a comma.” Why? Because, as a codependent, most every relationship I entered into already had a period at the end of the sentence before the relationship even got off the ground. I immediately erased the period and continually placed commas in its place until the relationship finally blew-up beyond repair.

I’ve always chosen the wrong people to love, and to expect love from in return, my entire life. The door was always closed already, in terms of hoping for a healthy relationship, and yet I forced my way past every closed door. My attraction was always to the most toxic person in every room I ever entered. I was totally blind to my emotional attraction to toxic people, and those who responded positively were totally blind to their toxic attraction to me. We played each other, used each other, manipulated each other until we exhausted every possible comma, and one of us finally had to place a period at the end of the relationship.

After many years of recovery, I can still catch myself attracted to toxic people, engage with them and want to place commas where there should be a solid period. But I’m much more aware of what’s going on with me emotionally now. And I’m much better able to accept the healthy love that is offered me.

Before Recovery, I always pushed the healthy love away when it was offered to me. It never came from people who were of interest to me. They were healthy people and I subconsciously wanted the attention (and chaos) that came from being attracted to toxic people.

Now, I accept the authentic love from whomever offers it, and I’m coming to truly value that love. I’m saying “NO” to toxic love and “YES” to the healthy love that comes naturally to me. We never have to compromise ourselves or manipulate the other person when healthy love is present.