We Can Own Our Personal Power and Change Our Lives for the Better



Too often, as a codependent, I have felt powerless. At a young age I learned to surrender my personal power to my mother, who was very willfull and controlling. As a result, I never learned how to own my personal power and I developed a pattern of feeling helpless, trapped and unsafe because I easily gave my power away to most everyone.

Somehow everyone else became more powerful than me. Their opinions, beliefs, wants and needs counted— but mine didn’t. As I grew into adulthood, this pattern continued and I continually gave my power away to everyone. I never counted, or had value until I entered Recovery.

In Recovery I have learned that no one can take my personal power away from me without my consent. I’ve also learned that my opinions, ideas, feelings and beliefs do count. They are equally as important as everyone else’s, and I don’t have to agree with everyone to be acceptable. I can agree to disagree with certain people who also have learned to own and honor their personal power. And I can walk away from people who refuse to honor my personal power and insist that I surrender it to them. Those are the toxic people who I spent much of my life people-pleasing, but no more. I have a choice and my choice today is to own my power.

Anytime we feel trapped, scared and helpless, we are giving away our personal power to the world around us. We don’t have to do so. We can take our power back at any moment by choosing to value ourselves, trust our Higher Power and believe that we are truly the star of our story. We can always walk away from controlling, toxic people by owning our personal power and choosing to change our lives for the better.


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