What Do You Do When the Fear of Success and the Fear of Failure Intersect?



In Recovery meetings, some people talk about fear of failure, while others talk about their fear of success. Personally I think the two often lock hands with each other; after all, the common bond between the two is FEAR.

This past weekend, the two definitely intersected for me. I was browsing through my email Saturday morning when I found I had an offer to become the new Communications Director for our North American Conference. At first I felt elated and excited, but as I read the job description, I felt overwhelmed and fearful. I forwarded the email to two close friends, and both responded: Go for it!

Yesterday, I received an email from the publisher of a magazine that had printed my story on addiction and recovery in their October 2017 edition. He was writing to inform me that their Board of Directors had recently met and had unaminously decided to nominate my story for the National Association of Press Awards. Again I felt elated, excited and grateful. But that feeling was followed by a lull. And when I woke up this morning, I had a simmering feeling of discomfort and fear.

So I asked myself “Am I experiencing fear of success or fear of failure? Am I trapped between a good reality and an irrational fear that “the other shoe is going to drop?” And I decided it was both. Seems to me that the fear of success and the fear of failure often join hands. They intersect and they truly lock hands with each other. And this is what I was experiencing emotionally.

So now as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I have the right for good things to happen to me and I don’t need to allow fear of success to overwhelm me and dovetail into fear of failure. I can stay in the present moment, believe in myself and my Higher Power, and go with the flow, whatever the future may hold. Why be concerned or worried? All is good in this moment. I can simply do my best, leave the rest to my Higher Power and whatever will be will be.

And all will be well. I will accept success gratefully and I will courageously learn from failure and transform it into success.

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