“In My Life” I Love Me More
Today is my birthday. As a little kid back in the mid 1960s, “In My Life” was one of my favorite Beatles songs. Even at a young age, the sentimental lyric and especially the line “In my life, I love you more” appealed to me. It gave me hope of finding someone someday who would love me, and of the day when I’d be able to look back and say of all the people I’ve ever loved “I love you more” to that person.
It appealed to my inner-need for the parental love I’d never received and hope of finally receiving it from some special person in the future: It appealed to my steadily developing addictive personality/codependency. But it never occurred to me that I was the person who needed to love me more; that no one else could give me what I wasn’t then able to give to myself.
For most of my life I searched and waited for that special person, who never came. Now I know why. Because I needed to be the one who “loved me more.” I needed to love myself enough into healing the gaping wound of emotionally unavailable parents. It was only when I was able to love myself enough to fill-up my own inner-emptiness, by the grace of my Higher a Power, that I would be able to find people in this life who could compliment my happiness.
Today, finally, I can say “In my life, I love me more!” I’ve worked with my Higher Power to fill up most of the void left in my soul from childhood. I’m good with being me, and I like owning my personal power. I no longer place the key to my happiness in someone else’s pocket. It’s solidly in my grip now.
So today, on my birthday, I look back and celebrate me. I celebrate all of the wonderful people, the music, and my Higher Power. They all got me through the rough times when I wasn’t able to love or celebrate my very self.
Life begins the moment you accept yourself as you are, you recognize you are whole in and of yourself, and you stop giving the key to your happiness to others. This is the moment when you know you have begun to love and value yourself. Rejoice when that moment arrives. In your life, you’re the one who has to first love you the most! Then others will see your value and rejoice in loving you, too.
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