Self-Acceptance is the Key to Healthy Self-Love

There can be no self-love without self-acceptance. The two are directly linked and self-acceptance— complete and unconditional— must come first. It’s our ability to accept ourselves 100%, just the way we are, that produces a healthy self-love.

So what are you refusing to accept about yourself? Is it your face, your hair, your body size? Is it your personality, especially if you are an introvert and are often uncomfortable around others? Is it your level of intelligence? Is it your perceived lack of creativity or talent? Is it the color of your skin, or your gender or your sexual orientation? Is it your past or current behavior? Whatever you choose to dislike or even hate about yourself blocks your self-acceptance. And prevents you from loving yourself just the way God created you.

My self-acceptance was never based in my “self” from childhood forward. It was always based in what other people told me about myself: “Your too fat,” “your too thin,” “you’re lacking in intelligence,” “you’re an attractive person, but you’re not handsome,” etc. Whatever negative thing anyone chose to tell me about myself, I believed. No wonder I never developed a good, healthy self-Love until I entered Recovery.

Years of recovery have taught me that I am the only person who makes me unhappy. And I do so when I give my personal power away to others. When I accept and cling to what others think about me, I become their prisoner. I give them control over how I see, think and feel about myself.

Well, I’m done with that mistake. I only need the approval of two beings in this life: God’s and mine. And the same is true for all of us. We already have God’s approval— God created us just the way we are and placed his stamp of approval on us. Now, we need to give ourselves the gift of our own stamp of approval.

Screw negative people. I have no intentions of ever taking what they say about me seriously ever again. Anyone who attacts me with negative words is simply projecting their own lack of self-acceptance/self-love onto me. And I will no longer accept it.

I’m responsible for my happiness and it starts with self-acceptance. I now choose to accept everything about myself that I have refused to accept in the past. And, instead of choosing to feel bad about myself, I choose to take the negative opinions of others toward me and see through to their own personal brokenness. If they are miserable enough inside to spew their emotional poison onto me, then I chose to have empathy and compassion for them. But I will never take their ugly words personally ever again.

Choose to own your personal power by giving yourself the gift of unconditional self-acceptance. As author Robert Holden says “No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” If you want to love yourself and own your happiness, start with self-acceptance!