Feeling Overwhelmed? Stop Being a False God to EVERYONE

Sometimes we choose to overwhelm ourselves. No one else overwhelms us. We do it to ourselves by refusing to focus on our own needs. Instead, we are focused on the needs of EVERYONE else. We are focused on meeting the needs of Mom and Dad, big brother and little sister, next door neighbor, whining coworkers, real friends and fake friends, the mailman, business clients and even the guy ahead of us in line at the grocery store.

We’ve made ourselves the little god of all of these various people and we feel the pressure from having promised all of them that we would do things for them to meet their needs. As time catches up with us and tension mounts, however, we are feeling more than just overwhelmed. We are also feeling the strain of their complaints against us and our dire need to continually win their approval.

Now we’re really concerned. Not only are we unable to truly be their god by meeting all of the needs that they are actually responsible for meeting themselves, but now they are MAD AT US for not meeting their needs like we promised to do. Our minds kick into overdrive and every fear we have about being unacceptable in their eyes kicks in as well. If we find that they are angry with us or that they aren’t returning our calls, then we really dive into panic mode.

“Oh My God!,” we exclaim inside of our subconscious minds, “They’ll stop liking me and I will be forced to admit that I am a worthless piece of crap!” Then we are propelled into motion by the fact that we can’t bear to lose their positive approval rating. So we further bend over backwards to people-please them. We offer to make up for our failures by further caretaking them in any way we possibly can… And, as a result, we truly do make asses out of ourselves.

I’ve decided to stop making an ass out of myself. I’m not feeling overwhelmed anymore and allowing that feeling to carry me away. Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I realize it’s because I am feeling responsible for other people and their problems. When that happens I remind myself that I am responsible for only me, and everyone else can be responsible for themselves. It’s not my job to caretake their needs or to try to please them and win their seal of approval. 

So I let go of my need to have anyone’s approval aside from my own. If people don’t like it, if they try to guilt or shame me, too bad—for them. I take back my power from them by detaching from them with love. I understand that maybe they simply can’t do any better, or maybe we just aren’t meant to be friends, and that’s OK. I can live without them if necessary and I’m sure the need, or lack of, is mutual.

I have chosen to no longer be anyone’s false god. It’s a rotten job and I no longer wish to feel overwhelmed. Instead I choose to work on approving of myself, accepting myself and loving myself. The more I do that the more I will gain the approval of others. And they will be people who know how to manage their own lives without a false god and who will really count in my life.