Let Go of Your Fears and Live Life to the Fullest!

“A life lived in fear is a life half lived.”

Spanish Proverb

Living a life based in fear is as normal as breathing air for many people. And this is probably twice as true for those of us who have addictive personalities. As children. we embraced one major fear—“I’m not good enough”— and then found ourselves buried under an avalanche of life-destroying anxiety and worry. It wasn’t long before “I’m not good enough” developed into a mile-long laundry list of all the many reasons why we weren’t acceptable people.

All of these fears were then further complicated by another major fear: Fear of abandonment. Once we deemed ourselves as unacceptable, it didn’t take us long to realize that we now had deep-dark secrets we needed to hide from others. After all, if people we loved found out just how defective we were, they’d say a swift “Goodbye” and never look back as they quickly ran away from us—or so we imagined to our great detriment.

So life became on long series of fear-drenched anxiety as we suffered through endless hours of worrying about all of our flaws and whether or not we were going to be able to keep them in-check long enough to fool people. And part of fooling people played-out through our growing obsessive need to please them in order to earn the love we didn’t believe we deserved.

I know I wasted many years of my life living like a recluse because I was so fearful of being “found out,” rejected and abandoned by others. I held tight to the hope that if I held myself in enough, no one would ever discover that I wasn’t worthy of their love. The more fearful I became, the more turned-in on myself I became. Before long, there wasn’t a single ray of sunshine left in my life because I refused to let anyone in.

It never occurred to me at the time that the more I isolated-- the more I refused to open up and share myself with others-- the more I forced the really valuable people out of my life. Eventually, all I was left with were the people who were all too willing to use and abuse my caretaking and people-pleasing skills. In my quiet desperation I allowed them to abuse me and I mistook their abuse for love. It made for a really miserable fear-filled existence with absolutely no life in it.

Recovery has given me my life back. It has enabled me to say “I’m OK just the way I am. People can love me or leave me. That’s OK, too. The people who really count will love me just the way I am. And what could be better? NOTHING!”

Recovery has also taught me that sometimes we do get hurt when we choose to let go of our fears, open up and share ourselves with the world. But that’s OK. Everyone gets hurt sometimes. We’re no exception. And it’s better to get hurt along the path of truly living life than it is to be safe inside a web of fear where the sun never shines and there is no joy.

I am no longer willing to live life half way by being a slave to my fears. So today I say “I am who I am and I’m happy with who I am!” Bring on the world. Bring on the sorrows and bring on the joy. As long as I’m living comfortable in my skin—by my choosing—the joys will always outshine the sorrows. And all will be beautiful in the long run because I’m free of my fear and living life to the fullest—come what may!

If you long for this freedom to live your life to the fullest, get into a recovery program today. Let go of your fears and enter into life!