The Only Approval We Need Comes From Within

“Ultimately I learned that I had to love and approve of myself. If I was happy and content, most of the time my dad and I got along fine. I began to realize this was true in most of my relationships.”
David Elliott, Healing

Many people think that approval is something they need from others. At the same time, it never occurs to them that they need approval first and foremost from themselves. Once we love, accept and approve of ourselves we become whole people. We value who we are and we see ourselves as equal to all others. We become happy and content with ourselves and life. We walk with purpose and gain an overall sense of well-being. Life suddenly suits us and we look good wearing it.

As we wear life well, we notice that our relationships also fit us better. Why? Because we are more fully present in all of our relationships. We are no longer feeling inferior and thus emotionally needy. We no longer use relationships as a means of garnering approval from others because we no longer see ourselves as half a person. We are equals now with everyone and so our relationships have transformed from dependent to interdependent. We can be present to others because we are no longer preoccupied with pleasing them. Our focus now is on experiencing the beauty of others and sharing our personal beauty with them.

Love, acceptance and approval are all gifts we must first give to ourselves. They are the foundation of our self-esteem, and they are anchored in the love, acceptance and approval of God. We are able to love ourselves because God has first loved us. Others can present us with these same gifts, but only in a complimentary way. When others offer us love, acceptance and approval it is like icing on the cake of our self-worth.

Our relationships can only be as functional as we are. If we have a dysfunctional relationship with ourselves, we will have dysfunctional relationships with others. For example, if we treat ourselves badly, we will expect that others should treat us badly. We will project this belief to the world around us. Others will pick-up on our negative vibes and they will treat us just as poorly as we expect to be treated. If, on the other hand, we have a good relationship with ourselves, we will project this to the world around us. People will tune-in to our positive vibes and they will respond by treating us with love and proper respect.

Outside approval is worthless unless we have a strong foundation of self-approval based in our own self-love and grounded in God’s all encompassing love for us. If you are desperately seeking the gift of approval from others, stop and give the gift of self-approval to yourself. This precious self-gift will allow your soul to shine!

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